( he stiffens at first, but the moment lestat buries his face in louis's hair, he sighs and relaxes back into him. too easy, he chastises himself. but he doesn't really want to pull away, not now. )
I always go out wearing something I slept in. I just never sleep in a bed.
( and he fidgets like a mortal for a moment, steepling his fingers before settling a hand on lestat's arm around him. it isn't last night louis is worried about, and he has no intention of prying into whatever had happened there. he wouldn't dream of it. there's something darker on his mind. )
If you weren't at ease, though… if some night things felt truly hopeless to you...
( he tenses against lestat. why is it so hard to say what he means? damn that book and everything you had me learn from it, he thinks, and finally, miserably, just blurts it out. )
( louis flinches. selfishly, he wants to say good, but he knows it's the wrong thing, particularly when he has his own very similar reasons for refusing that ancient and powerful blood. he covers one of lestat's hands with his own. )
I wonder if I would have felt it somehow, or if I would have had to hear it from some other source.
[Lestat sighs and closes his eyes. Why must Louis focus on such awful things? That incident is done now. Obviously it's coming up for Louis but it's done now for him. He doesn't want to dwell on it.]
I suppose you'll have the answer to that in a few years.
[He's not trying to dismiss him this time. But the truth is that he knows Louis will learn that answer eventually.]
( louis sounds almost like he might weep, and he turns in lestat's arms to embrace him tightly. )
You make me want to continue existing. Do you know how many years it's been since I've felt that?
( he buries his face in lestat's shoulder, feeling childish and desperate, looking for some kind of reassurance that he can't entirely explain. his voice is quiet but insistent when he speaks again. )
I don't want to learn secondhand that my world has been shattered if, God forbid, you do find some way to destroy yourself.
I would never do something like that again, Louis. I've moved on from that.
[He smiles and threads his fingers through his hair. Gently, he presses a kiss to his temple. Louis is truly his most fragile fledgling but yet there's such a strength to him due to his overwhelmingly kind heart. He often worries that he'll break and is always so happy he hasn't.]
You could have some of my blood. Then you could have more power to make sure of it.
( louis shivers delicately at the offer, and his thirst and desperation for lestat are twin devils on his shoulders. it would be so easy, and he knows it would taste richer and sweeter than he could possibly imagine.
but he shakes his head, of course. )
No. I would remain as I am, and know the sun can bring about my quick and painless end.
( louis nods, sighing softly and tipping his forehead against lestat's. )
Only this, then, and I swear I will put it aside and not speak of it again. Promise me that you'll tell me if you ever get such a foolish idea in your head again. If I cannot stop you, then I at least wish to go with you.
In return, you needn't worry about my own will to go on. I feel it now more than ever.
[That's quite the surprise to hear. But he smiles brilliantly soon after he hears it.]
Yes. I want to do that. Whatever book you like, Louis.
[He doesn't often let Louis make the decisions (because he has a bad habit of walking all over him) but there are times like now where he jumps at the chance.]
( louis's expression softens at the sight of lestat's bright grin. though he can't bring himself to smile back, his adoration is clear in his face, and he sets his hand lightly on lestat's shoulder as he leans back in for one last lingering kiss. )
[Lestat smiles as he watches him go before rising up so he can go to the other room. He has some time so he gathers together a pile of books they can read. Short stories, poems... There's really no reason beyond them being short so it will be easier to take turns.
When Mojo goes to greet Louis upon his return, he smiles as he lands from where he'd been grabbing the last book.]
I found us quite the collection we can go through. Where do you want to start?
( louis has his fingers buried in mojo's thick fur, greeting the dog quietly in french, when lestat appears. louis looks surprised, the way he always does when good things happen to him without a catch. but then louis smiles, his cheeks coloring with the blood from his hunt, and his expression is all the softer for it. )
It'll take us forever to read all of that. ( which doesn't sound so terrible at all, under the circumstances. he goes to lestat and kisses his cheek, taking his arm. ) I'm in the mood for poetry tonight.
It will not. We'll need far more books than this for that.
[Lestat guides him over to the couch and grabs one of the books of poetry. He waits until Louis is sat down before flopping down to claim his lap with his head. Flipping to one of the pages, he ponders it for a moment before starting to read it aloud. It's not written in French but he reads it that way anyway.
( louis's fingers move through lestat's soft golden curls as he reads, nails dragging lightly against his scalp. the moment feels impossibly tender, a sharp contrast to the raw emotions they'd both dealt with over the last twenty-four hours, and louis is so moved that he can hardly bear it. his throat tightens as the start of blood tears sting, and he shuts his eyes to keep them from falling, for as long as he can.
he lets lestat finish his lovely translation of a poem by keats, then cups his jaw and leans over his reclining lover to place an upside-down kiss on his lips. )
[Lestat has turned to the next page when Louis cups his jaw. Curious, he looks up and feels those lips press to his own. He smiles into the contact, savoring how it feels to have Louis kissing him so sweetly.
When they part, he reaches up to run his fingers through his hair.]
( louis wipes at the unshed tears in his eyes, and leans into the touch of lestat's hand in his dark hair just as eagerly as a cat. he stays in french, too, savoring the chance to share their mother tongue, and so nostalgic hearing it from lestat in particular. )
And another and another and another. But isn't it my turn?
( louis takes his time flipping through the pages, just so he can savor lestat's touch a moment longer. he turns slightly to kiss lestat's palm, fingers still moving through his curls. )
We could make a habit of this. You have quite enough books for it.
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I always go out wearing something I slept in. I just never sleep in a bed.
( and he fidgets like a mortal for a moment, steepling his fingers before settling a hand on lestat's arm around him. it isn't last night louis is worried about, and he has no intention of prying into whatever had happened there. he wouldn't dream of it. there's something darker on his mind. )
If you weren't at ease, though… if some night things felt truly hopeless to you...
( he tenses against lestat. why is it so hard to say what he means? damn that book and everything you had me learn from it, he thinks, and finally, miserably, just blurts it out. )
Lestat, you went into the desert?
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I did. It was excruciating. But, it seems that not even the sun can destroy me.
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I wonder if I would have felt it somehow, or if I would have had to hear it from some other source.
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I suppose you'll have the answer to that in a few years.
[He's not trying to dismiss him this time. But the truth is that he knows Louis will learn that answer eventually.]
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( louis sounds almost like he might weep, and he turns in lestat's arms to embrace him tightly. )
You make me want to continue existing. Do you know how many years it's been since I've felt that?
( he buries his face in lestat's shoulder, feeling childish and desperate, looking for some kind of reassurance that he can't entirely explain. his voice is quiet but insistent when he speaks again. )
I don't want to learn secondhand that my world has been shattered if, God forbid, you do find some way to destroy yourself.
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[He smiles and threads his fingers through his hair. Gently, he presses a kiss to his temple. Louis is truly his most fragile fledgling but yet there's such a strength to him due to his overwhelmingly kind heart. He often worries that he'll break and is always so happy he hasn't.]
You could have some of my blood. Then you could have more power to make sure of it.
[Louis will refuse him but he has to offer.]
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but he shakes his head, of course. )
No. I would remain as I am, and know the sun can bring about my quick and painless end.
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Oh Louis.
[He catches his chin to make him look up at him, kissing him gently.]
Let us agree to stay together as we are. No more talk of the sun.
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Only this, then, and I swear I will put it aside and not speak of it again. Promise me that you'll tell me if you ever get such a foolish idea in your head again. If I cannot stop you, then I at least wish to go with you.
In return, you needn't worry about my own will to go on. I feel it now more than ever.
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[The romantic side of him flutters as he stares at Louis. Even this close, at such an unflattering angle, he's so painfully beautiful.]
You mean this? Us together, Louis?
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( louis brings his hand to rest against lestat's chest. )
Your heart beats inside of mine.
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[But he means that fondly this time as he kisses him.]
Let us be bound together always then. In every lifetime.
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If there is a lifetime after this one, I will follow you there hand in hand without question. And I'm grateful that you're here with me in this one.
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Louis, you must feed now. You've put it off for too long. I promise you I will be here when you return.
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Oui, yes, yes, you're right... I'll be off before I put you in a melancholy mood.
( he glances to lestat's book — not the one that had caused louis so much strife last night, but the poetry he'd been reading while louis slept. )
When I return, can we please read to each other?
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Yes. I want to do that. Whatever book you like, Louis.
[He doesn't often let Louis make the decisions (because he has a bad habit of walking all over him) but there are times like now where he jumps at the chance.]
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I won't keep you waiting.
( and with that promise, he's off to hunt. )
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When Mojo goes to greet Louis upon his return, he smiles as he lands from where he'd been grabbing the last book.]
I found us quite the collection we can go through. Where do you want to start?
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It'll take us forever to read all of that. ( which doesn't sound so terrible at all, under the circumstances. he goes to lestat and kisses his cheek, taking his arm. ) I'm in the mood for poetry tonight.
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[Lestat guides him over to the couch and grabs one of the books of poetry. He waits until Louis is sat down before flopping down to claim his lap with his head. Flipping to one of the pages, he ponders it for a moment before starting to read it aloud. It's not written in French but he reads it that way anyway.
For no other reason than it's prettier that way.]
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he lets lestat finish his lovely translation of a poem by keats, then cups his jaw and leans over his reclining lover to place an upside-down kiss on his lips. )
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When they part, he reaches up to run his fingers through his hair.]
Would you like to hear another?
[This time he stays in French.]
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And another and another and another. But isn't it my turn?
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Yes, yes. Here.
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We could make a habit of this. You have quite enough books for it.
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