( louis goes very still, but his traitorous heart speeds up at the intimate offer. he turns to look at lestat over his shoulder. )
That is your desire, Lestat, not mine. ( a little sharply. but, notably, it isn't quite a no. and for once lestat can see louis actually thinking about it. ) If I say yes... Will you listen to me afterward, and pretend you don't think I'm a fool?
Only then, ( louis murmurs, disappointed but not surprised. he's hungry, and it's making him particularly moody. ) I wish I could compel your conversation. More than that, I wish it didn't have to be a bargain between us.
( he turns away, looks back toward the window, so lestat doesn't have to see him so despondent. )
Last night meant the world to me, Lestat. I want you to feel you can speak to me, not as a punishment or a last resort, but because it eases your mind to know you can.
[A wet nose nudges his hand. Almost like Mojo is siding with Louis.
...the traitor.
He gives his dog a frown then finally sighs and goes over to wrap his arms around Louis from behind.]
What if I say I'm at ease though? Why do I have to talk about it then? Though in this case it just bothers me that you put yourself at risk by not feeding first.
[He buries his face in his hair.]
You'll be annoyed that this is not on topic but you must know that I'm not allowing you to go out wearing something you slept in.
( he stiffens at first, but the moment lestat buries his face in louis's hair, he sighs and relaxes back into him. too easy, he chastises himself. but he doesn't really want to pull away, not now. )
I always go out wearing something I slept in. I just never sleep in a bed.
( and he fidgets like a mortal for a moment, steepling his fingers before settling a hand on lestat's arm around him. it isn't last night louis is worried about, and he has no intention of prying into whatever had happened there. he wouldn't dream of it. there's something darker on his mind. )
If you weren't at ease, though… if some night things felt truly hopeless to you...
( he tenses against lestat. why is it so hard to say what he means? damn that book and everything you had me learn from it, he thinks, and finally, miserably, just blurts it out. )
( louis flinches. selfishly, he wants to say good, but he knows it's the wrong thing, particularly when he has his own very similar reasons for refusing that ancient and powerful blood. he covers one of lestat's hands with his own. )
I wonder if I would have felt it somehow, or if I would have had to hear it from some other source.
[Lestat sighs and closes his eyes. Why must Louis focus on such awful things? That incident is done now. Obviously it's coming up for Louis but it's done now for him. He doesn't want to dwell on it.]
I suppose you'll have the answer to that in a few years.
[He's not trying to dismiss him this time. But the truth is that he knows Louis will learn that answer eventually.]
( louis sounds almost like he might weep, and he turns in lestat's arms to embrace him tightly. )
You make me want to continue existing. Do you know how many years it's been since I've felt that?
( he buries his face in lestat's shoulder, feeling childish and desperate, looking for some kind of reassurance that he can't entirely explain. his voice is quiet but insistent when he speaks again. )
I don't want to learn secondhand that my world has been shattered if, God forbid, you do find some way to destroy yourself.
I would never do something like that again, Louis. I've moved on from that.
[He smiles and threads his fingers through his hair. Gently, he presses a kiss to his temple. Louis is truly his most fragile fledgling but yet there's such a strength to him due to his overwhelmingly kind heart. He often worries that he'll break and is always so happy he hasn't.]
You could have some of my blood. Then you could have more power to make sure of it.
( louis shivers delicately at the offer, and his thirst and desperation for lestat are twin devils on his shoulders. it would be so easy, and he knows it would taste richer and sweeter than he could possibly imagine.
but he shakes his head, of course. )
No. I would remain as I am, and know the sun can bring about my quick and painless end.
( louis nods, sighing softly and tipping his forehead against lestat's. )
Only this, then, and I swear I will put it aside and not speak of it again. Promise me that you'll tell me if you ever get such a foolish idea in your head again. If I cannot stop you, then I at least wish to go with you.
In return, you needn't worry about my own will to go on. I feel it now more than ever.
[That's quite the surprise to hear. But he smiles brilliantly soon after he hears it.]
Yes. I want to do that. Whatever book you like, Louis.
[He doesn't often let Louis make the decisions (because he has a bad habit of walking all over him) but there are times like now where he jumps at the chance.]
( louis's expression softens at the sight of lestat's bright grin. though he can't bring himself to smile back, his adoration is clear in his face, and he sets his hand lightly on lestat's shoulder as he leans back in for one last lingering kiss. )
[Lestat smiles as he watches him go before rising up so he can go to the other room. He has some time so he gathers together a pile of books they can read. Short stories, poems... There's really no reason beyond them being short so it will be easier to take turns.
When Mojo goes to greet Louis upon his return, he smiles as he lands from where he'd been grabbing the last book.]
I found us quite the collection we can go through. Where do you want to start?
( louis has his fingers buried in mojo's thick fur, greeting the dog quietly in french, when lestat appears. louis looks surprised, the way he always does when good things happen to him without a catch. but then louis smiles, his cheeks coloring with the blood from his hunt, and his expression is all the softer for it. )
It'll take us forever to read all of that. ( which doesn't sound so terrible at all, under the circumstances. he goes to lestat and kisses his cheek, taking his arm. ) I'm in the mood for poetry tonight.
It will not. We'll need far more books than this for that.
[Lestat guides him over to the couch and grabs one of the books of poetry. He waits until Louis is sat down before flopping down to claim his lap with his head. Flipping to one of the pages, he ponders it for a moment before starting to read it aloud. It's not written in French but he reads it that way anyway.
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[Lestat sighs and then waves in that very French way of his.]
What if I go hunting with you? Will that suffice until you have fed?
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That is your desire, Lestat, not mine. ( a little sharply. but, notably, it isn't quite a no. and for once lestat can see louis actually thinking about it. ) If I say yes... Will you listen to me afterward, and pretend you don't think I'm a fool?
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Very well. But only if you say yes.
[And he watches, waiting to see if he will.]
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( he turns away, looks back toward the window, so lestat doesn't have to see him so despondent. )
Last night meant the world to me, Lestat. I want you to feel you can speak to me, not as a punishment or a last resort, but because it eases your mind to know you can.
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...the traitor.
He gives his dog a frown then finally sighs and goes over to wrap his arms around Louis from behind.]
What if I say I'm at ease though? Why do I have to talk about it then? Though in this case it just bothers me that you put yourself at risk by not feeding first.
[He buries his face in his hair.]
You'll be annoyed that this is not on topic but you must know that I'm not allowing you to go out wearing something you slept in.
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I always go out wearing something I slept in. I just never sleep in a bed.
( and he fidgets like a mortal for a moment, steepling his fingers before settling a hand on lestat's arm around him. it isn't last night louis is worried about, and he has no intention of prying into whatever had happened there. he wouldn't dream of it. there's something darker on his mind. )
If you weren't at ease, though… if some night things felt truly hopeless to you...
( he tenses against lestat. why is it so hard to say what he means? damn that book and everything you had me learn from it, he thinks, and finally, miserably, just blurts it out. )
Lestat, you went into the desert?
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I did. It was excruciating. But, it seems that not even the sun can destroy me.
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I wonder if I would have felt it somehow, or if I would have had to hear it from some other source.
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I suppose you'll have the answer to that in a few years.
[He's not trying to dismiss him this time. But the truth is that he knows Louis will learn that answer eventually.]
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( louis sounds almost like he might weep, and he turns in lestat's arms to embrace him tightly. )
You make me want to continue existing. Do you know how many years it's been since I've felt that?
( he buries his face in lestat's shoulder, feeling childish and desperate, looking for some kind of reassurance that he can't entirely explain. his voice is quiet but insistent when he speaks again. )
I don't want to learn secondhand that my world has been shattered if, God forbid, you do find some way to destroy yourself.
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[He smiles and threads his fingers through his hair. Gently, he presses a kiss to his temple. Louis is truly his most fragile fledgling but yet there's such a strength to him due to his overwhelmingly kind heart. He often worries that he'll break and is always so happy he hasn't.]
You could have some of my blood. Then you could have more power to make sure of it.
[Louis will refuse him but he has to offer.]
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but he shakes his head, of course. )
No. I would remain as I am, and know the sun can bring about my quick and painless end.
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Oh Louis.
[He catches his chin to make him look up at him, kissing him gently.]
Let us agree to stay together as we are. No more talk of the sun.
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Only this, then, and I swear I will put it aside and not speak of it again. Promise me that you'll tell me if you ever get such a foolish idea in your head again. If I cannot stop you, then I at least wish to go with you.
In return, you needn't worry about my own will to go on. I feel it now more than ever.
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[The romantic side of him flutters as he stares at Louis. Even this close, at such an unflattering angle, he's so painfully beautiful.]
You mean this? Us together, Louis?
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( louis brings his hand to rest against lestat's chest. )
Your heart beats inside of mine.
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[But he means that fondly this time as he kisses him.]
Let us be bound together always then. In every lifetime.
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If there is a lifetime after this one, I will follow you there hand in hand without question. And I'm grateful that you're here with me in this one.
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Louis, you must feed now. You've put it off for too long. I promise you I will be here when you return.
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Oui, yes, yes, you're right... I'll be off before I put you in a melancholy mood.
( he glances to lestat's book — not the one that had caused louis so much strife last night, but the poetry he'd been reading while louis slept. )
When I return, can we please read to each other?
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Yes. I want to do that. Whatever book you like, Louis.
[He doesn't often let Louis make the decisions (because he has a bad habit of walking all over him) but there are times like now where he jumps at the chance.]
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I won't keep you waiting.
( and with that promise, he's off to hunt. )
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When Mojo goes to greet Louis upon his return, he smiles as he lands from where he'd been grabbing the last book.]
I found us quite the collection we can go through. Where do you want to start?
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It'll take us forever to read all of that. ( which doesn't sound so terrible at all, under the circumstances. he goes to lestat and kisses his cheek, taking his arm. ) I'm in the mood for poetry tonight.
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[Lestat guides him over to the couch and grabs one of the books of poetry. He waits until Louis is sat down before flopping down to claim his lap with his head. Flipping to one of the pages, he ponders it for a moment before starting to read it aloud. It's not written in French but he reads it that way anyway.
For no other reason than it's prettier that way.]
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